Gucci Dresses

I have returned from a err…9 month hiatus. Needless to say, after I swore off my previous ‘attempted’ blog cause some people were convinced I was nuts and referred me to shrinks (no, seriously); its my new year’s resolution that I re-establish my reputation as a good blogger and clear my name by posting less QOUTE: “dark, daunting and way way creepy” entries. That is why I am blogging now. And also because I am so bloody bored that I just had to slap myself for watching Chibi Maruko Chan (and enjoying it). My residency matters in Australia is in deep shit, and Mom seems to think I m not capable of doing any kind of work that requires doing to be done. She keeps glaring at me and sighing to herself, as if to say, you are a waste of food, you fat idiot. And she would be so totally right on that. I have been lazing at home for the past 2 months, getting fatter and memorizing the astro guide. Dreading the day that I have to do that medical check-up for the visa, I can just imagine the doctor staring unbelievably at my cellulite and fat nicely stacked up in the most unwanted of places. That is, of course, assuming that all goes well and I get that wutshit documents and apply for visa. I decided I would tap tap on the keyboard so that Mom would think I was actually doing something important.

So anyways, since this is my 1st post for the year, I decided to list all my new year’s resolutions:

1. Loose weight
Gone are the days that I weighed in at a rather unhealthy 115lbs for my 5’8” frame, when my thighs didn’t rub against each other when I walked, and I didn’t have to worry about the ‘muffin effect’. Losing weight is obviously my priority if I ever want to be dating Leo

2. Realise that chocolate rice cannot be a substitute for real rice
I have lost the battle of convincing Mom and Dad that chocolate rice is just as rice as any other rice, if not ricer. Also, they actually don’t serve chocolate rice nasi lemak, or chocolate rice porridge. Which is a sorry thing, to consider what nutritious meal so many ignorant people are missing…

3. Eat less sugar.
Virgos, I read are supposed to be neat and health conscious; in other words, exactly what I am not. Which makes me doubt even more that I am a US top secret government project gone wrong and was thus donated to my current parents for safekeeping. Which makes a lot of sense; I can’t be a Virgo or related to my siblings who are so unlike me. This, I admit, would be the hardest one of em all, as I am a renowned chocoholic. But I prefer dark chocolate, so…

4. Get spiritual
Yes. I am having serious doubts of my agnosticism. I am thoroughly convinced that there is a God and he is out to get me! Anyways, sitting proudly in my collection of books are the Baghvad-Gita (Hindu scripture) and a PERSONALISED Bible! (XO Brandon Knight in shining armour). I shall read em and get in touch with all that spiritual thingamajig. Seems like fun

5. STOP DAY DREAMING!
This is an absolute must. I often day dream so much that I get caught off guard in classes all the time (OK, all the times I was awake). The prospect of my being an economic dictator and stripping the multi billion dollar MNC off their assets and giving it to the needy countries may be irresistible, but i always forget that what’s going on in my head is not real. And Brad Pitt is not going to adopt me. I gotta be in touch with reality more often.

6. Stop crushing
I will absolutely have to stop falling head over heels over people I am never gonna get! (Please note: people, NOT guys). I am not bisexual, no, but I keep wanting to be Condoleezza Rice’s Best Friend, Oprah and Obama’s long lost cousin, Prince William’s soul mate, Brad Pitt’s confidante among others. Also in a more realistic basis, I keep trying to so hard please all these guys that are so superficial, only to realize after 1 week that I do not value their opinions. And I am not even myself to them.

7. Accept that I am a part of my family.
The weird thing is, I know I am the black sheep in my family; but Mom actually talks to herself I the freakiest of ways…which kinda gives me hint where I get my twisted mind from (Eventhough Mom and Dad deny it with such strong conviction).

8. Stop trying to contact dead people
Ok, lately, I have been trying to get Heath Ledger on the line, but I couldn’t. I know I have out of the world psychic powers. After a series of failure in contacting dead celebs and relatives alike, I know now that my power is not contacting the dead, but rather dreaming of the future. Sad thing is, I never seem to remember what I dreamt about once I’m up. Which leads me to conclude: the future looks bleak

9. Learn kickboxing, and how to handle a gun
For obvious reasons: To look cool and to prepare for my future role in the Academy Award winning movie, in which I star against the sexiest man alive, Chace Crawford, trough which also, I become the first Asian female to win an Oscar for Best Actress. And meet my soul mate, Chace Crawford. But mainly to look cool.

10. Stop blasting MTV, The Fratellis on my laptop and JT on my hi-fi at the same time.
I think the neighbours hate it when I do this. Something about being more considerate and sensitive to those around you. Heck

11. Learn to play my guitar.
I remember when I was 12, I think, and I was so obsessed with Avril Lavigne that I demanded Mom buy me a guitar and I swore I would practice it with dedication everyday (I was secretly wishing I was a savant of some sort and that the guitar played itself once in my hands). Sadly, I was yet again disappointed. Now it is collecting dust beside my bed, and missing the F-string. And I have grown to absolutely hate that Avril woman

12. Stop laughing to self.
Another reason why Mom and Dad are convinced I have loose nuts up there. I don’t see what’s wrong with LOL-ing when you are read something in a book, or the net or if you watch Friends, or The Nanny, Simpsons, Yakitate!, Saw, The Hills Have Eyes, The Exorcist and other hilarious stuff. Dad gets really worried when I laugh to myself. At least I don’t laugh when I watch that slapstick show Dad watches. Talk about funny

13. Be a good blogger
Update my blogs more than once a year; stop changing URL address, stop trying to use blog as a medium to spread sadistic yet straight edge beliefs, post sensible entries.

14. Stop wrestling with Microsoft word.
Don’t you just hate it when the stupid MS Word changes all your British spelling to those American ones? I hate it so. I love US and all, but when in English, do as the English do la! Aiyoh!


15. Stop making resolutions I am obviously never gonna complete
Keeping that in mind, I will post this entry, and then type something in Word just to change it to British spelling, blast some sweet rock music, then go lie down, eat a pack of Hershey’s kisses, day dream about the day I become the CEO of a Fortune 500 company and be adopted by Bill Gates, marry Ian Somerhalder and become the President of USA, and laugh out loud. I’ll have some chocolate rice and chocolate sauce for dinner.