Ok, so...
I love being single, it's awesome! It's really cool that I get to stay away from all the romantic mushy riff raff and just be me all the time. No obligations, nothing!
I do absolutely love my friends,I dont wanna brag or anything(well, actually I do), but I do have the best-erestestetstesteestsetsest bunch of friends EVER! I won that award last year, "Best friends ever" award, so bite my dust, Cheetah Girls!
They complete me, and I NEVER had the bugging need for a 'significant other' in my life.
Cos one of me is too much for the world to handle already. The idiotbox potential suicide bomber sadist morbid anarchist agnostic who talks way too much.
But why why why oh why in the name of The Lord do i always get attracted to the kind of person that I never want to become?
The smart, quiet, obsessed with study/research/work,introverted ones?
Damn, opposites attract aye?
Friday, March 28, 2008
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Mad again
AGAIN.
Dont you just hate that word? It implies something that is recurring; often, more times than deemed desirable. Often something bad, or sad, something you dont want to repeat.
But it is happening AGAIN.
Maybe I complain a lot, but yes, they have strong grounds.
I'm just mad.And I have every right to be.
I'm mad that my iPod is busted and the person responsible for it seems unfazed.
I'm mad that my computer is so slow.
I'm mad that I have to fill the cavity in my teeth.
I'm mad that someone is confusing me, and wouldn't just come right out and say it.
I'm mad that everyone has a life but me.
I'm mad that I am so emotionally vulnerable and dim
I'm mad that I dont understand my philosophy text no matter how many times I read it
I'm mad that I picked philosophy instead of French
I'm mad that people have to sleep at night
I'm mad that someone is exactly like me and does the same things I would do
I'm mad that I feel lonely when there are people around me
I'm mad that I cant fall asleep
I'm mad that I have bad dreams which disturb my sleep
I'm mad that there is so much beauty in the world
I'm mad that I have to buy a printer
I'm mad that I complain so much
I'm mad that I'm lazy
I'm mad that I'm sad all the time for no reason
I'm mad that I'm mad.
I'm mad that she never listens to me
I'm mad that I don't talk properly to Mom and Dad
I'm mad that Ozzies say Mum istead of Mom
I'm mad that someone is smart
I'm mad that she likes the someone
I'm mad that its happening again and no one is here
I'm mad that I might be mad, after all.
Dont you just hate that word? It implies something that is recurring; often, more times than deemed desirable. Often something bad, or sad, something you dont want to repeat.
But it is happening AGAIN.
Maybe I complain a lot, but yes, they have strong grounds.
I'm just mad.And I have every right to be.
I'm mad that my iPod is busted and the person responsible for it seems unfazed.
I'm mad that my computer is so slow.
I'm mad that I have to fill the cavity in my teeth.
I'm mad that someone is confusing me, and wouldn't just come right out and say it.
I'm mad that everyone has a life but me.
I'm mad that I am so emotionally vulnerable and dim
I'm mad that I dont understand my philosophy text no matter how many times I read it
I'm mad that I picked philosophy instead of French
I'm mad that people have to sleep at night
I'm mad that someone is exactly like me and does the same things I would do
I'm mad that I feel lonely when there are people around me
I'm mad that I cant fall asleep
I'm mad that I have bad dreams which disturb my sleep
I'm mad that there is so much beauty in the world
I'm mad that I have to buy a printer
I'm mad that I complain so much
I'm mad that I'm lazy
I'm mad that I'm sad all the time for no reason
I'm mad that I'm mad.
I'm mad that she never listens to me
I'm mad that I don't talk properly to Mom and Dad
I'm mad that Ozzies say Mum istead of Mom
I'm mad that someone is smart
I'm mad that she likes the someone
I'm mad that its happening again and no one is here
I'm mad that I might be mad, after all.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Sadness
Have you ever wondered why in literature, some things are expressed with such hyperbole?
Like happiness, or sadness...
Crippling sadness must be my favourite expression ever. You think it's exaggerated? Hell no.I know how it feels like to feel so sad that you feel crippled.You cant get out of bed, you don't wanna go out, you cant concentrate on homework...
But when you decide you want to waste time instead(going online; doing nothing) you cant even do that because you feel guilty.
That's crippling sadness, when you cant function. At all...even daydreaming makes you feel guilty.
I'm cripplingly sad.
Like happiness, or sadness...
Crippling sadness must be my favourite expression ever. You think it's exaggerated? Hell no.I know how it feels like to feel so sad that you feel crippled.You cant get out of bed, you don't wanna go out, you cant concentrate on homework...
But when you decide you want to waste time instead(going online; doing nothing) you cant even do that because you feel guilty.
That's crippling sadness, when you cant function. At all...even daydreaming makes you feel guilty.
I'm cripplingly sad.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Dead Ringer
I am not wild. Ok, yes, maybe I have an unhealthy obsession with psychopaths and dead people, but they are awesome!
Maybe thats why Shane the Marxist, Victor the guy from Hong Kong and I went to the cemetery at 11pm. That's just so me, isnt it? I came back from the city on Friday at about 9pm. It was bloody freezing, and the Donut(my lovely college) was dead silent, cos pretty much everyone had gone home. Went downstairs and watched The Goonies for a bit, and after that went to the cemetery. It was shit cold.
We walked around it, trying to get in. The bloody place was fully fenced with barbwires and all..the whole works! Why the hell such great measures? it's not like anyone is trying to get out! Or are they?? So Shane, Victor and I walked around the perimeter, trying to find a place to get in. An the only place we could get in(fences without the barbwires) was right in front of the road and cars were passing by.
What the hell, we jumped the fence. That was a bit of a bitch. I despise myself for being so heavy and therefore subject to greater gravity than the two guys who were, well heavier, but had their mass in more useful forms and not just fat and cellulite.
Was it just me or was the cemetery colder than outside?
It was just me.
It was a huge place, we started walking, past the Italians, I was secretly hoping to discover some hidden family pasta secret, but to no avail.
I wanted to read and pay a visit to the passed ons, but the boys were just oblivious to the residents of the cemetery and walked past real fast, (I later accused the of being selfish and not caring about the dead.)only reading occasionally.I did, however find someone who had the same birthday as mine, only a 100 years earlier.
Also, i found a gal named Thomasine. Now awesome is that?!
I dont even now why Victor chose to come anyways, he was pretty scared and freaked out everytime we walked on a grave(or what he thinks is a grave).
The Jews came after the Italians, and the the Christians and finally the Chinese.
This is where Victor and I got into a heated debate about life and death. Shane just stood there between us saying nothing and being like a moderator.
Victor accused me of being a pessimist.I indirectly called him silly for putting so much importance on temporary material things.Though I dont think he noticed.
We decided to go home soon after because it was getting too cold.My fingers were numb even after Shane gave his gloves to me. I guess I just cant stand cold at all.But we rested in a gazebo a while beside someone's grave, where I told Shane about Ed Gein and Ted Bundy.
Shane called me a sadist, and a morbid person.
On our way back, we saw a Ghost!
No, it was just the name of the tree, Ghost Something tree, which has like the awesomest bark ever. It was super smooth! I drew a peace sign and two hearts on the guy(tree).
We named the tree Roger. I like that dude(the tree, Roger).
We went back home. I slept after about 3 hours. Another fine day, perfectly wasted. At least now I have more crazy stories to add to my collection.
Now, I am a weird, morbid, pessimistic, sadistic anarchist.
Life can only get better
Maybe thats why Shane the Marxist, Victor the guy from Hong Kong and I went to the cemetery at 11pm. That's just so me, isnt it? I came back from the city on Friday at about 9pm. It was bloody freezing, and the Donut(my lovely college) was dead silent, cos pretty much everyone had gone home. Went downstairs and watched The Goonies for a bit, and after that went to the cemetery. It was shit cold.
We walked around it, trying to get in. The bloody place was fully fenced with barbwires and all..the whole works! Why the hell such great measures? it's not like anyone is trying to get out! Or are they?? So Shane, Victor and I walked around the perimeter, trying to find a place to get in. An the only place we could get in(fences without the barbwires) was right in front of the road and cars were passing by.
What the hell, we jumped the fence. That was a bit of a bitch. I despise myself for being so heavy and therefore subject to greater gravity than the two guys who were, well heavier, but had their mass in more useful forms and not just fat and cellulite.
Was it just me or was the cemetery colder than outside?
It was just me.
It was a huge place, we started walking, past the Italians, I was secretly hoping to discover some hidden family pasta secret, but to no avail.
I wanted to read and pay a visit to the passed ons, but the boys were just oblivious to the residents of the cemetery and walked past real fast, (I later accused the of being selfish and not caring about the dead.)only reading occasionally.I did, however find someone who had the same birthday as mine, only a 100 years earlier.
Also, i found a gal named Thomasine. Now awesome is that?!
I dont even now why Victor chose to come anyways, he was pretty scared and freaked out everytime we walked on a grave(or what he thinks is a grave).
The Jews came after the Italians, and the the Christians and finally the Chinese.
This is where Victor and I got into a heated debate about life and death. Shane just stood there between us saying nothing and being like a moderator.
Victor accused me of being a pessimist.I indirectly called him silly for putting so much importance on temporary material things.Though I dont think he noticed.
We decided to go home soon after because it was getting too cold.My fingers were numb even after Shane gave his gloves to me. I guess I just cant stand cold at all.But we rested in a gazebo a while beside someone's grave, where I told Shane about Ed Gein and Ted Bundy.
Shane called me a sadist, and a morbid person.
On our way back, we saw a Ghost!
No, it was just the name of the tree, Ghost Something tree, which has like the awesomest bark ever. It was super smooth! I drew a peace sign and two hearts on the guy(tree).
We named the tree Roger. I like that dude(the tree, Roger).
We went back home. I slept after about 3 hours. Another fine day, perfectly wasted. At least now I have more crazy stories to add to my collection.
Now, I am a weird, morbid, pessimistic, sadistic anarchist.
Life can only get better
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Ignorance ISNT bliss
We had a little corridor activity today. My lovely college. My corridor, F.Y.I is the rather secluded one, called 'The West Wing'. I am on a all females floor.(Do i hear the 'oh....'s coming along there?) There is existence of the male specimen on my corridor, just that they leave on the floor downstairs.
So, btw, we went to Eureka Skydeck, the tallest building in Melbourne. It is a observation deck, built on the 88th floor. Some guuy's idea of a good time, looking down from the 88th floor!
Me, well, I am not a big fan of heights. It just isnt my 'thang'...
So, predicatably, I was fearing for mi dear life.
But hye, it wasnt that bad. i was doing fine. I did awesome, in fact. Never showed traces of fear, never complained! I did enjoy watching people through the telescope there. It was so creepy, I could like watch ppl playing tennis and stuff! I could even tell a woman was wearing Nike trainers, had a boob job.No, kidding.After the skydeck, we went to get some yummy gelati in Trampoline. One the way down in the elevator, my ears got 'blocked' and it lasted like for 1 hour! that just sucked cause every sound was echoing in my head! Gelati was awesome. I had peanut nutter(peanut butter, la.nutter)violet rumble(i think that was the name, it was vanilla ice cream with chocolate shavings and honey)and mint, which was a big disappointment. I love all things mint and this ice cream just didnt do it for me! i was vanilla with mint candy bits, which got frustrating because the candy bits got stuck in your teeth!We headed home soon after
That's not what this post is about, though
Halfway through in the skydeck(88 floors above ground, mind you), Zac told me a really disturbing fact that just, well pretty much ruined my mood for the rest of the trip.
He said that beggars in India cut off their own children's limbs so that they can get more money begging.What kind of world do we live in? This really shouldnt be happening!
What kind of life will that poor innocent child have? it is really quite stunning how people can be so ignorant things like this. which just goes on to prove the failure of the government in taking care of its people's needs.
Who will speak up for the illiterate bunch that suffer silently, who go so far as to decapitate their own child just to put food in their tummy.
Imagine what the poor child must have felt when he/she got decapitated.Imagine the pain teh poor kid must have gone through!Imagine the rest of the life the poor child has to live, crippled, because his/her parents wanted him/her to survive. Even thinking about that little kid, right now, this very moment, there is that possiblity that a child is being cut because his/her parents are so poor
you might think that its the parent's fault, but is it really? When so many people live in a material world, affording luxurious items, have more money than they can spend, will it kill them to give some out to the poor instead of buying shares and 'securing' their kids' already thrice secured future?
how can people sleep at night when there are people suffering this way? Dont corrupt politicians have a conscience at all?Burn in hell u rotten politicians! hope the satan decapitates you too.
Call me dogmatic, I couldnt care less! It not the parents' fault. its the rest of the world's! No one should have to go through that. If there is a God, why does God let his people suffer this way?
It tears me apart, disturbs me greatly that things like these still happen when technological changes have made impossible feats seem ordinary. Back when people said that handphones will never exist, a bunch of scientist poured their heart and should into creating one, and today handphones spring out everywhere like mushrooms after the rain.
now, people say that poverty and famine will never be erased. Why dont a bunch of scientist pour their heart and soul into working out a solution for that? W
Why is it so hard to make poverty history when fashion trends can be made history in a matter of weeks?
Isnt anyone listening? Is God listening?
How am I supposed to fall asleep?!
Hope you have a conscience
http://www.kamat.com/index.htm
So, btw, we went to Eureka Skydeck, the tallest building in Melbourne. It is a observation deck, built on the 88th floor. Some guuy's idea of a good time, looking down from the 88th floor!
Me, well, I am not a big fan of heights. It just isnt my 'thang'...
So, predicatably, I was fearing for mi dear life.
But hye, it wasnt that bad. i was doing fine. I did awesome, in fact. Never showed traces of fear, never complained! I did enjoy watching people through the telescope there. It was so creepy, I could like watch ppl playing tennis and stuff! I could even tell a woman was wearing Nike trainers, had a boob job.No, kidding.After the skydeck, we went to get some yummy gelati in Trampoline. One the way down in the elevator, my ears got 'blocked' and it lasted like for 1 hour! that just sucked cause every sound was echoing in my head! Gelati was awesome. I had peanut nutter(peanut butter, la.nutter)violet rumble(i think that was the name, it was vanilla ice cream with chocolate shavings and honey)and mint, which was a big disappointment. I love all things mint and this ice cream just didnt do it for me! i was vanilla with mint candy bits, which got frustrating because the candy bits got stuck in your teeth!We headed home soon after
That's not what this post is about, though
Halfway through in the skydeck(88 floors above ground, mind you), Zac told me a really disturbing fact that just, well pretty much ruined my mood for the rest of the trip.
He said that beggars in India cut off their own children's limbs so that they can get more money begging.What kind of world do we live in? This really shouldnt be happening!
What kind of life will that poor innocent child have? it is really quite stunning how people can be so ignorant things like this. which just goes on to prove the failure of the government in taking care of its people's needs.
Who will speak up for the illiterate bunch that suffer silently, who go so far as to decapitate their own child just to put food in their tummy.
Imagine what the poor child must have felt when he/she got decapitated.Imagine the pain teh poor kid must have gone through!Imagine the rest of the life the poor child has to live, crippled, because his/her parents wanted him/her to survive. Even thinking about that little kid, right now, this very moment, there is that possiblity that a child is being cut because his/her parents are so poor
you might think that its the parent's fault, but is it really? When so many people live in a material world, affording luxurious items, have more money than they can spend, will it kill them to give some out to the poor instead of buying shares and 'securing' their kids' already thrice secured future?
how can people sleep at night when there are people suffering this way? Dont corrupt politicians have a conscience at all?Burn in hell u rotten politicians! hope the satan decapitates you too.
Call me dogmatic, I couldnt care less! It not the parents' fault. its the rest of the world's! No one should have to go through that. If there is a God, why does God let his people suffer this way?
It tears me apart, disturbs me greatly that things like these still happen when technological changes have made impossible feats seem ordinary. Back when people said that handphones will never exist, a bunch of scientist poured their heart and should into creating one, and today handphones spring out everywhere like mushrooms after the rain.
now, people say that poverty and famine will never be erased. Why dont a bunch of scientist pour their heart and soul into working out a solution for that? W
Why is it so hard to make poverty history when fashion trends can be made history in a matter of weeks?
Isnt anyone listening? Is God listening?
How am I supposed to fall asleep?!
Hope you have a conscience
http://www.kamat.com/index.htm
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
O Descartes!
I am SCREWED!
WHY? You ask?
Philosophy, my breadth subject has been anything but easy. It is really confusing! I should have just stuck with psychology. But No.....I have to take the sodding philosophy~WHY?! O WHY?!
Apparently, I am not the only lost soul. So today during tutorial, many people voiced their confusion. The tutor, in an attempt to be supportive ( I think) said this:
Dont worry about it. Philosophy is just like swimming...remember when u started swimming and you thought you will never make it? You thought you will never be able to float? But you got it eventually.(people nodding knowingly) So, if you can swim, you can definitely do philosophy!
Everyone was smiling. But me.
WHY? You ask?
I cant swim
WHY? You ask?
Philosophy, my breadth subject has been anything but easy. It is really confusing! I should have just stuck with psychology. But No.....I have to take the sodding philosophy~WHY?! O WHY?!
Apparently, I am not the only lost soul. So today during tutorial, many people voiced their confusion. The tutor, in an attempt to be supportive ( I think) said this:
Dont worry about it. Philosophy is just like swimming...remember when u started swimming and you thought you will never make it? You thought you will never be able to float? But you got it eventually.(people nodding knowingly) So, if you can swim, you can definitely do philosophy!
Everyone was smiling. But me.
WHY? You ask?
I cant swim
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Signs!
30 Signs you are from MRSM:
1. 1.You have panic attacks when you hear the words spot check, row call, lights off and warden!
2. 2.You know at least 5 people by the name of amir, ameer and its varieties
3. 3.You think that being able to dictate the periodic table of elements is innate within all homo sapiens
4. 4.You know at least 1 person who never got less than 100% for additional mathematics
5. 5.When you have 4 essays to write an 10 pages of maths to do, and your friends call it a lot of homework, you scoff it off
6. 6. No one knows the definition of “last minute” like you do
7. 7. Hand phones are a conditioned stimuli that evoke the condition response of FEAR in you
8. 8. When you come home for holidays, your Mom complains the house stinks
9. 9.You can barely identify 1 out of 10 songs being played in the radio
10. 10.You feel like you can connect to the starving children in Darfur
11. 11.Doesn’t matter what religion you are, you are able to sing the Asma ul-Husna, recite ‘doa’s and quote the Qoran with amazing precision, and you would get an A1 if you sat for the agama paper
12. 12.The Celcom customer service operators know you by first name, and can probably name all your room mates’ dads too
13. 13.You feel like you were the reason the hand phone lines don’t have free customer care line anymore; and you know you are right
14. 14.Instant noodles. Period.
15. 15.You can wake up, shower, iron your uniform and get from bed to classroom in 5 minutes flat.
16. 16.You know the meaning to words like capub, bajet, glaba, lampi, sempoi and main layang-layang
17. 17.You are a certified genius in creating nicknames…how else you gonna trash your teachers/friends?
18. 18.80% chances are you know someone who sleeps through ALL the classes, 5% chances are you ARE that person
19. 19.When people call your best friends, “your friend” you get insanely angry, because they are more than just friends to you…
2020. You are able to tell what colour undergarments anyone in the school is planning to wear this week just by looking at the laundry line
21. 21.No matter how big you are, you can fit yourself into the locker/ under the bed when it comes time to CLEAR BLOCK!
22. 22.Your daily diet consists of: plasticine like rice, fish harder than rock and vegetable you swear is contaminated by radioactive waste, and that Flaming Hot Peri-Peri? That’s kids’ stuff compared to the sambal you are served.
23. 23.You are always sleep deprived
24. 24.You have friends who respond to names like Pink, Fish, TV, Siput, Bajeng, Big Foot, Tengkorak, Bangkai, Kucai, Gabok, Mat Sex, Mat Dadah, Helmet, Chicken, Tank, Skin
25. 25.You are unaware of this, but you actually know all the words to that new Malay song
26. 26.Everyone in your school has their coffee the exact same way- instant
27. 27.You have absolutely no problem having lunch with 10 cats roaming around your feet and plate
28. 28.Worse still, even the cats refuse to eat the food you eat. No kidding
29. 29.Your idea of a wild night is having no homework to do, and your Sunday afternoon well spent is spent sleeping
3030. You cry an average of 1 time a week, complaining about the stupid MRSM, and when you finally get out, you cry an average of 7 times a week, wanting to go back to the stupid MRSM…
1. 1.. You know Ms Susan’s ideal job
2. 2. You never do your Maths homework unless Mr Munin threatens to minus your marks
3. 3.You know Ms Shoba’s entire family
4. 4.Ms Cheryl always gives you snackies and you know Ms Azreena’s favourite label
5. 5.You know the word for penis in at least 4 different languages
6. 6.You are always online when there is an assignment due next day
7. 7.You have a way of saying “Yalah”
8. 8.You can sing along to Bob Marley’s Buffalo Soldier
9. 9.You laugh when you hear the word ‘entities’ being used in a proper sentence
10. 10.You actually attend LAN classes
Sunday, March 9, 2008
For the love of DJ
What do you miss the most?
malaysian food. and sunshine
What do you do if you meet the person you hate?
i dont hate. it's a disease
One item you really want?
a genie in a bottle
What do you do if you’re talking to a stupid person?
i dont judge, it's an epidemic
Last book you read?
John Grisham's Street Lawyer
The person you’re thinking of?
That certain hottie
Last gossip you heard?
Cant remember
Last testimonial from?
Junbecks. Weird
Last person to call u?
Jan Ten
Last person u talked to, about what?
Owen and Naomi, about my day
Last 5 places you’ve visited today.
QV, QV market, JB Hi-Fi, Melbourne Central, Some indonesian restaurant on Swanston Street
Last text message you received from..
Chor
Last cousins you’ve met?
Juj
What did you do this weekend?
A LOT OF SHOPPING!
Last person who kissed you?
*sigh* why bother.
Last person who hugged you?
cant remeber
Last person who pinched you?
elina
Last item you bought?
iPod
What is the reason you last cried?
hormones
What is your mood now?
indifferent
Who did you meet 3 days ago?
Whitley pals
3 items that are near you?
CPU, Room key, mouse
Who is your hero?
Donno
What are your plans for next weekend?
no idea
Why are you filling this survey?
DJ tagged me, and i have no life anyways
5 person you are tagging?
who-so-ever reads my blog.
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